The Existential Odyssey

 

   The Path is this Arc of one's very being. It is the Yellow Brick Road, Noah's Ark, a dragon bridge to the heavens, or simply a rustic highway to the Great Beyond. The starting line of that Path is a certain point from which one finds oneself standing for the very first time. Here lies the simplicity of one's awareness of one's existence - ruby red slippers? A call? An ambition? This standing point is that point that meets with all that has gone before.  There are two key aspects of the Path: 1) That which one tethers oneself to in order to define one's "purpose"; & 2) That which one owns as one's very own Path - an untethered will to define Self for oneself. There is, however, a point in between these two aspects of the Path. Limbo is a a spider who spins her web quite finely for those who would risk leaving the comforts of the former aspect of the Path in search for the latter.

    Truth is quite an evasive little thing. One recognizes one's existence in this world. Existence is truth. So, in the very least, one knows it exists on some level. It feels quite true when one's stomach is aching for a meal. Whatever Truth is, it provides a deeper form of nourishment than that which satiates one's appetite. If that Higher Truth appears indescribable & rather untouchable, it is quite worthwhile to give it a placeholder - a name. This metaphysical Truth - "God" to some - is a drive within which one sets before oneself for whatever reason or another. Whether it be for Power, Love, or Happiness - or a combination of these. In short, this bleak veneer of Truth is the sublimation of one's drive - a drive one happens to turn oneself away from to participate on the stage of society.

    In society, Truth is presented as a thing in some form - via religion or national pride, for example. Societal Truth is the Dao of that society. The Dao - the essence - of a society is presented through the discoveries and struggles that made it what it is. Tales of such a founding of a society are passed down to posterity in an effort to preserve the society - to strengthen it. This very preservation is the security for both the society and the individual participating in it. Now, we have something to work with: conflicting dynamics between the Truth of the group and the Truth of the individual.

     When an individual tethers oneself to one's bleak sense of Metaphysical Truth, in order to assert any drive at all, one must merge their "Truth" with that of the Society's. After all, one's first ideas of power, love, and happiness, are presented to oneself from the Society within which one is brought up. One tries one's hand at love in this society - or better yet, desire. One exerts one's understanding of power (or lack thereof) within this society - through fear. By listening to the tales of the Society's coming to Being, one discovers happiness in a sense of belonging in Society. But happiness? Such a thing transcends fear & desire. Often times, society presents some form of entertainment as a balm for the suffering endured amidst the waves of fear & desire - but does that sort of deflecting ever really provide contentment? 

    Throughout much of life, one vacillates between fear and desire. Will I ever feel true love? Was that sense of belonging ever real? Or was I just going along to get along? Since Power, Love, & Happiness are so complicated to realize in the Now - and one wonders if such ideas can be truly possessed in the reality of the shifting course of society - one's yearning for such ideas amplifies a Belief in a seemingly indescribable Truth. A Truth that possesses aspects of these three Major Virtues. Now, presented before one's very own Third Eye is a Truth seemingly beyond one's reach. One reaches "out there" to feel a sense of each aspect of this Truth. And, all that is "out there", is that which is known to oneself. One's paradigm. That paradigm is the lens through which one perceives the society in which one participates.

    Society is a comfort zone. The Arc of Society is the umbrella for the Arc of Individual. If nothing further can be known beyond the Truth of The Arc of Society, then that is ultimately as far as one can go in the realm of Truth. So, if one doesn't feel the Power, Love, & Happiness amidst that society, the onus is on the individual to change and conform in order to continue participating on such a stage. All one's life, one melds the mask one wears to one's face - a persona - identifying oneself with the mask one wears. Once one finds a convenient mask to wear in Society, all doubt which may bleed out through the eyeholes of such a mask must be shunned. But what of the one who sees the mask being worn and wonders if others recognize their own mask?

    One who finds themselves unfulfilled with the mask one wears will poke and prod around in society. One asks questions to all those around with the best words one can muster up. How often is such a one treated as if they have lost their mind? Everybody else dancing the masquerade expects the individual who is weary from the same old song and dance to shut up and keep dancing. That individual would much rather dance a new dance although a new dance seems rather unrealizable. What other reason can there be for such a resistance other than that the masses of society have grown familiar with the same old song and dance. It has defined them. And they are satisfied - it brings security. Has this rogue gone mad? The only way one can ever realize a new dance is by leaving the society one was brought up in and discovering the differences and similarities of the dances of other societies. But one must leave the comfort of the familiar to do that!

    One then becomes a traveler. A seeker. What one seeks is somewhat beyond oneself; however, that nameless thing is what drives them in their progress as they venture off into a vast Path of uncertainty. That nameless thing that drives them is a search for some Truth beyond what they have grown accustomed to. And, if it can't be discovered, who is to say that Truth is really anything at all? If whatever is there to be discovered along their Path is not as fulfilling as the Societal Truth, then one knows that one must come to terms with that Truth.

    The uncertainty that lies on the Path before one's feet is what leads them on into Limbo. As one travels from society to society and witnesses joy and merriment and even learns foreign dances, one comes to realize that all the societies are similar in one fashion: the denizens therein are completely oblivious to a world beyond their own. So, perhaps the traveler, who found mirth in the new dances thus discovered and the new stars and animals encountered along the way, returns to the society they left and tries to introduce the new stuff. Societal Truth is slow to accept novelty. The conditioning therein causes it to be highly incapable of wrapping its hive mind around it. Why? Because the Truth which it has built itself around feels contested. The rejection of such novelty and the expectation for the individual who has discovered far more than those other participants of society causes the individual to be even more dejected.

    Was the joy they found on their journey real? Is love real? Is power real? Is happiness real? Is truth real? Am I real? Is anything real? One can taste the apple held in their hand and feel the deprivation of sleep, but other than these fundamental things that keep one alive, is there really anything left to go on living for?  One stands on the precipice of self-annihilation. To be or not to be. This is the part of the journey that many travelers find themselves stuck on. If there is even the slightest sliver of hope, they'll withhold the temptation to jump. One steps down from the mountain, or one does not. If one stays up there - and chooses to live, that is - one becomes a hermit who lives off of whatever Mother Earth can provide. Well, the provisions of Providence are not quite as satiating as that which society can provide. Either one becomes satisfied in this Truth, or one does not.

    Should one descend from the mountain, in order to keep one's stomach filled and one's body protected, one must, at least, find some type of society within which one can still participate. A society which everybody keeps their truth to themselves. Perhaps, a Metropolis will do. And now that one is at least amongst others who cannot simply banish them or blame them for their yearning or dejection, one can at least survive. But is just surviving enough? Perhaps it really depends upon which stratosphere in the Metropolis one finds themself. 

    Comradery in the city hasn't quite the same familial appeal as that in the town. The Dao of the town is defined by the participants therein who have allowed their Truth to merge with that of their society. But the Dao of a city? Now, that is a completely different thing. It hasn't quite the same Spirit. It is more mechanical. Travelers come and go to the city. In a town, the people's collective Truth is what makes it what is and that provides a sense of belonging. A city doesn't really worry about Truth - its only Truth is efficiency for efficiency's sake. One either finds a place to belong there or one does not. Either way, at least one is surviving, right? If not, at least, being more themselves than they might otherwise be?

    One can easily be overwhelmed by the mechanical nature of Metropolis. What the fuck led them here in the first place? Metropolis is a machine. If one is not a designer, developer, or delegator, one is most likely merely an appendage of the machine, at best, or the greaser thereof, at worst. In the town, one has a sense of Being, but it is quite lacking in philosophical description. In the city, one has a sense of lack of Being. What's worse: A sense of unknowable Being? Or an awareness of one's Nothingness? Herein lies the true dynamic of all life - Being & Nothingness. Both are true in their own right but rather unfulfilling. Better to be aware of one's Nothingness than unaware of one's Being.

    The acceptance of this reality of one's Nothingness is the Void at the end of Limbo. If one hasn't committed suicide at the apex of Limbo, the Void at the end presents the most volatile state in the seeker's odyssey. Here lies the Dark Night of the soul. The traveler contemplated throwing their self off of the precipice earlier on because they couldn't fathom wherein they fit into the puzzle of the Cosmos. But which is better? Feeling that? Or feeling nothing at all? Here is that last juncture of the Path. 

    Either turn around, now, or reach this point of no return.

    Once you have felt the darkness on your fingertips slowly creeping up your skin until it fills up your lungs, all desire & fear become human things. But you? You are nothing. No human. No machine. Absolutely nothing. Nothing suspended in nothingness. And this nothingness - the proverbial depths of Hades - becomes quite comfortable. At least, when you are aware of this nothingness, you are aware of what has been hiding behind the mask all along. At least, you are no longer a drifter in a body. By detaching oneself from the "body" (avatar) within which one indwells, one, at the very least, has control of that body. One is no longer concerned with metaphysical Truth or convention by any stretch of the imagination. One finds elbow room. 

    More than one could ever have imagined.

    Now, the Power which one thought was "out there" is present in the palm of one's hand. This Power, one can use to manipulate events to bend towards one's Will - within Reason. Wait. Will? Reason? If one has Power, one learns how to discover the boundaries of Reason in order to better control that Power. If one attains Reason and realizes one's own Power, then one realizes one's own Will. Could this Will be the drive that has led them thus far? By golly, it certainly is that very same drive!

    But now that all of the "out there" Truth has been nihilated, where does one direct one's drive? One's Will? It all really depends on what that individual truly wants. But, at that point, how can one know what they ever truly wanted? Is what they wanted, in the beginning, the same thing they want at this place- the Now in the Arc of their own life? Is there an Arc of life? Just because one discovered their inner Power, the quest must continue on if they are to find purpose in any of it at all.

    The small town's definition of one's purpose was inadequate. The mechanical city's purpose for the individual was quite unsatisfying. The purpose one tethered oneself to in each stage of this Arc is now that cord which one has severed. Purpose - meaning - is no longer found "out there". If purpose be anything at all, it is discovered within. And, if there be any Truth at all - this has to be the baseline of it.

    And what has kept the individual all along? What has stopped them from throwing their self over the precipice? What has kept them from choking on the Void? The Light of Hope? But if there be any Light of Hope, what is that Hope? The Hope for Love & Happiness. If one can find Power and Reason and Will within oneself, can one find those other higher virtues within oneself, as well? 

    This here is where the Arc reveals itself - if it be anything at all. If one wants to use their discovered Power to move Society to their Will, that is up to them. But nobody quite understands such an individual. In fact, such an individual is more or less demonized and blamed for the woes of society by those marginalized by their power and praised by those who benefit from their drive. If nobody, not even the individual who possesses this drive, comprehends this drive, then still the ship is steered just to keep the ship afloat. 

    Where is the real direction? Why steer at all? 

    One must discover what drove oneself in the first place. Was it fortune? Was it fame? These things are temporal just like Society and Self. Can they ever really be a drive? Are they a means to an end or are they the end by which any means goes? If one goes beyond fortune, beyond fame, beyond Society, and even Beyond Self, one goes beyond Time. And what is timeless other than Death? 

    Love and Happiness. 

    How many have placed Love & Happiness into the far outskirts of some unknowable Afterlife? There are those who will dangle it over your head like a carrot. These are the priests and soothsayers and gurus who lead you to pay a heavy price for constant fruitless and self-debasing Hope. And if you'll pay such a price, you must know that the Hope is there. Is it really something any of these people could ever provide? 

    No! Hope is and always was latent within the fabric of one's own Being!  

    Hope is the shell that hides the true Truth - that everything you ever desired and wanted lies within your very self. Otherwise, you will always be chasing the moon. Once one finds the Love & Happiness beneath the shell of Hope, one begins to understand what it really means to stop and smell the roses. All the things that once were so common in life - so overlooked and so taken for granted - become more salient than ever before. Philosophy is no longer armchair philosophy for philosophy's sake. Art is no longer theory for Art's sake. The Thing - the essence - of All Things becomes vivid once the essence of one's own Being has been realized.

    And the paradox of all this? 

    Could any one individual have the will to seek if at first that individual hadn't encountered the other. The other reveals Being to the individual who encounters this Being. But the Arc of One's life - the whole course of existence - is in the one Individual's discovery of the Being within their own self. This is the truth of the Soul. The Atman. The Inner Light. That's all any of this ever meant. How interesting that the Truth of the myths of all time is buried deep down in the origin tales of the societies of all time even though there be no factual bases for such tales. If the Truth be anything - anything at all - it is this. 

    Once upon a time, the city was a town. Then, people of all walks of life met at some point for the purpose of commerce - sustainability.  Thus, Roman Roads were established. Then ships. Then interstate Highways. Then Commercial Airlines. Then, the World Wide Web. Now Wi-Fi. Now, it is obvious that no individual is an island. From these connections, States and Empires are formulated. But what is the purpose of any such societal iteration but for the collective drives of the People. People who potentially find themselves more and more alone as they are simultaneously more and more connected. Ambition is only an evil to those afraid of their desire to step outside of their comfort zone of being lost in the crowd. But this stepping outside of one's comfort zone is the heart of the Arc of one's Path to the discovery of the Self and the Cosmos. 

And the Path remains for all posterity until the end of time. 

Unless...of course...

...the machine devours us...